


All the Colors of the Rainbow

by knightinbrightfeathers



Series: Pastry Chef AU [2]
Category: Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow series - Gemma T. Leslie
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Pastry Chefs, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:21:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3105545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinbrightfeathers/pseuds/knightinbrightfeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon would say a rainbow cake is a little too in-your-face but the pun was just sitting there. Sorry, Ms. Rowell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Colors of the Rainbow

"Rainbow cake?" Simon says dubiously, looking at the photo on Penelope’s phone. It shows a white frosted cake, cut down the middle so the colorful layers are visible.  
The suspiciously bright colorful layers. Simon squints at the recipe under the picture, ignoring the fact that Penny’s on instagram. He understands the need for networking; he just doesn’t want any part of it.  
“Penny, there’s got to be half the cake’s weight in sugar in this recipe. Plus, so much food dye.”  
Penelope rolls her eyes and puts down the phone. “Obviously you wouldn’t use that recipe, but come on, Simon, that cake is totally your thing. It’s cute and kind of silly, but if you make it it’ll be good and we’ll get orders from a bunch of people with no originality.”  
“Why would we want that?” Simon asks plaintively.  
“Because they pay money, and man cannot live on commisions from nice people alone.” Penelope gives him the I-know-you-can-do-this look, which isn’t that different from the you-better-do-this look except for being shorter.  
“But. Food dye,” Simon says, one last attempt to save his tiny bit of dignity from internet memes.  
“There are vegetable dyes.”  
-&-  
S:hey  
B:yes  
B:in the middle of something pls wait  
B:ok what  
S:penny wants me to make a rainbow cake  
B:oh dear lord no  
S:i no rite  
B: those things have so much food colouring in them  
S:she said veg dyes but those still have an aftertaste  
B:fuck veg dyes  
B:make cakes with actual flavor in them  
S:what like lemon, red velvet, like that?  
B:yes  
S: but can you make the flavor combos work  
B:i know i can but can you  
S:24 hours for the first flavor  
B:done  
B:wear your least favorite shirt bcas i am going to wipe the floor with you  
S:big words my friend. Almost as big as the mistake u just made  
B:if you wanna bake bake dont talk  
S:this is where i draw the line  
S:no westerns  
B:its ok i only ever saw that one  
B:clock starts now  
S:prepare to lose  
B:u killed my father prepare to die  
S:baz. Baz no. Stop  
B:as you wish  
S:you deserve to lose  
B:too bad im gonna win  
B:prepare for the best red cake u ever ate  
S:havent eaten that many red cakes  
B:u r ruining my punchlines. worst archnemesis ever  
S: :)  
-&-  
“Penny, is there a red cake that isn’t red velvet?” Simon asks.  
“Raspberry? Strawberry?”  
“It’ll be pink! I need bright red!”  
“May I suggest the use of-“  
“No!”  
“Beets, you ninny.”  
“Gross,” Simon says feelingly, the memory of a thousand school dinners in his nostrils. “I think I’ll try pomegranates.”  
-&-  
“I’m impressed,” Baz says. The evidence to said emotion is right there on his plate, or rather, it isn’t on the plate.  
“Yours is good too,” Simon says. “Beets for food dye, who’d’ve thought.”  
From the dough counter comes Penelope’s snort.  
-&-  
The orange layer has carrot juice for them both, but Baz’s orange flavor is declared the unanimous winner.  
-&-  
“I don’t think anyone would ever want to eat this,” Agatha says, sticking the plastic fork into the bitter mess of the lemon cake. “Who made it?”  
Simon’s head drops. “There were so many orders. Someone asked for a pavlova. A pavlova, Aggy.”  
“What’s wrong with pavlovas?” Baz asks curiously.  
“Don’t ask,” Simon says.  
“Let me tell you,” Agatha says, and Simon lets out a quiet scream and runs out of the room.  
-&-  
“Fourth flavor goes to Simon Oliver Snow,” Simon declares, climbing onto a chair. “All hail!”  
“Sheesh, cut down on your sugar consumption, Snow. And really, Oliver?”  
“You have a point, Tyrannus Basilton?” Simon gets down from the chair and raises one eyebrow. It’s perfect, and a clear imitation of Baz.  
“No point. I congratulate you on your victory. Savor it.” Baz leans forward and puts his mouth close to Simon’s ear. “It’ll be your last.”  
“This is a food preparation area, you know,” Penelope says loudly, making them jump. She takes a bite of Baz’s cake. “Ugh, what is this?”  
“Spinach,” Simon says smugly.  
-&-  
Blue comes from blueberries, winning Simon the fifth round (Baz’s cake came out disappointingly pastel.) Indigo is from purple cabbage, winning Baz the round.  
-&-  
“This site recommends red cabbage for purple,” Penelope says.  
“I can’t, Baz already used that. How about wine?”  
“How about blackberries? Alcohol flavored cake isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Penelope says. “Remember New Year’s?”  
Simon nods. “Blackberries it is, then.”  
-&-  
“I honestly can’t decide,” Agatha says. After being roped into one judging, she’s more than willing to be in another, claiming that Baz’s cake had more than made up for Simon’s blunder.  
“You have to decide, or else there won’t be a winner,” Baz says.  
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Agatha rolls her eyes at their tense expressions. “Look, contest it among yourselves. I’m taking Penelope home, away from your crazy.”  
“I want Thai!” Penelope shouts from the reception.  
“We’ll get you Thai!” Agatha shouts back. “You’d think she was pregnant or something, sheesh.”  
Simon froze. “Agatha! Maybe she is!”  
“From who, you dork? We’re both women!” Agatha shakes her head and flounces out of the kitchen.  
“Never mind, Snow, you tried,” Baz says, patting Simon’s shoulder.  
“Shut up. Come on, let’s take the cakes and go to my place. It’s closing time and I’m beat.”  
-&-  
“Too bad the red wine cake doesn’t actually have any alcohol in it,” Baz says, stabbing the cake with his spoon.  
“What do you want to get drunk for?” Simon asks. He squishes a crumb of cake between his fingers and wipes it on the box.  
“Not drunk. Pleasantly buzzed. Loosen my inhibitions.” Baz finally stops fiddling with the spoon and leans forward against the railing. “Fuck, your balcony floor is cold.”  
“What inhibitions?” Simon asks, ignoring the criticism.  
“You know, inhi-mph,” Baz says, the rest of the sentence cut off by Simon’s mouth, and just as well, really. “Wow, was there alcohol in the cake after all?”  
“Shut up. Just shut up. I just kissed you and you-” Simon lets his head bang lightly on the railing. “Damn it.”  
“Simon,” Baz says gently. “You can’t be so stupid as to think that was a rejection.”  
Simon turns his head to glare at him. “You are terrible at this.”  
“So are y-mmmph!” After an indecently long time, Baz says, “You have to stop cutting me off like that.”  
“I don’t see why, most of the time you’re just filling up the silence,” Simon says.  
“You’re a dimwit.”  
“Prat,” Simon says fondly.  
“You’re not supposed to beam like that when you insult people, God.” Baz shoves the cake boxes into the corner and pulls Simon closer by his shirt. “Come on, I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the cake show.”  
“Me too,” Simon says, and doesn’t even notice when, minutes later, the cake boxes fall from the balcony along with two of his spoons.  
-&-  
“I don’t have to make you cake every time I want sex, do I?” Baz murmurs.  
“You make cake every day anyways, but no. You can just say, hey, let’s make like bunnies, and I’ll probably say yes.” Simon curls up a little closer, the big spoon to Baz’s little spoon (although there's hair in his nose.)  
“Make like bunnies, seriously? Are you even real or are you some sort of Steve Rogers spoof?”  
“You wish you could get with Steve Rogers. I’m basically the man in the street that shouts “oh, save my cat from the burning building, Captain!”“  
“You’re not man in street,” Baz says, squeezing Simon’s hand.  
“Okay, but no spandex,” Simon mumbles, already falling asleep.  
“No spandex,” Baz agrees. “Maybe some food kinks.”  
“No bringing your work home,” Simon says, very much awake.  
“Can’t I lick frosting off your chest?”  
“Oh my god, Baz, if you don’t shut up right now I’ll bloody well make you.”  
“We’ve got work tomorrow, you know.”  
“Okay, make you it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's actually quite easy to make rainbow cake with natural coloring, although the colors can come out faded. Baz and Simon probably know what they're doing better than I do.  
> Red: Baz uses beets, Simon uses pomegranate  
> Orange: Baz uses carrot (and orange for flavor), Simon uses carrot  
> Yellow: Simon uses lemon, Baz uses tumeric  
> Green: Simon uses pistachio (Baz probably uses spinach for the color)  
> Blue: Simon uses bluberries (Baz probably does too)  
> Indigo: Baz uses purple cabbage for the color (I have no idea what Simon uses)  
> Purple: Simon uses blackberries, Baz uses red wine


End file.
